In my last post, I asked you to review your achievements in 2007, and start to plan what you want to achieve in 2008.
However, we often set out with good intentions at the start of the year, but it is easy to lose focus and break our resolutions within the first couple of days.
So, how can you actually achieve these plans? One way of doing this is by goal setting. This allows you to set out on paper exactly what you want to achieve and by when. Follow my top 10 tips to setting and achieving goals.
1. When you set goals, make sure they are things you actually want to achieve. You should forget the 'should do's', 'oughts to's', and 'must do's' and set yourself targets that you really want.
2. Phrase your goals positively, focusing on what you want rather than what you don't want.
3. Be specific and precise about what you actually want to achieve and how you are going to do it.
4. Start to plan your achievement, including mini-reviews. Set yourself time limits for achieving your target - why don't you make a note in your diary to check your progress.
5. Make sure your goal is realistic. If your goal seems too big, it will appear impossible to accomplish. You might find it easier to break it down into manageable chunks that are more within your control.
6. Write down your goals and pin them up somewhere you will see everyday - this will help you to regularly focus on your objectives.
7. Consider what it will be like once you have achieved your goals. What will you see and hear? How will you feel? It can be a great motivator to visualise how things will be different when you have achieved your goals.
8. Think about any difficulties or obstacles you might face and how you can overcome these.
9. Believe in yourself - you can do it!
10. Think about who can support you. Tell a partner, friend or colleague who can encourage you to achieve your targets and celebrate your successes.
And don't forget to reward yourself for your achievements along the way and when you have accomplished your dreams!
If you would like regular inspiration and support to achieve your goals, sign up to the free Self Discovery newsletter. Go to http://www.selfdiscoverycoaching.co.uk/, and you will receive a free Career Planning mini e-book.
Sunday, 30 December 2007
Thursday, 27 December 2007
What have you achieved in 2008?
At this time of year, many people take a break and have the time to reflect on their lives and plan for the future.
Before you make your plans for 2008, take a few moments to think about what you have achieved in 2007.
What plans did you have for 2007?
What did you actually achieve?
What did you plan to do, but not achieve?
Is this still relevant?
This should allow you to focus on your achievements and start to generate some ideas for your plans in 2008.
So, if you were going to repeat this exercise in a year's time, what would you have liked to achieve?
Go on, brainstorm some ideas, and I will help you to focus on your goals for 2008 in a few days!
Before you make your plans for 2008, take a few moments to think about what you have achieved in 2007.
What plans did you have for 2007?
What did you actually achieve?
What did you plan to do, but not achieve?
Is this still relevant?
This should allow you to focus on your achievements and start to generate some ideas for your plans in 2008.
So, if you were going to repeat this exercise in a year's time, what would you have liked to achieve?
Go on, brainstorm some ideas, and I will help you to focus on your goals for 2008 in a few days!
Monday, 10 December 2007
Bullying at work
In my last blog I talked about combating stress at work as it was national stress day in the UK. On the same day, it was also national Ban Bullying at Work Day.
Statistics published last month show that one in four people have been bullied at some stage during their working lives, and could be as high as one in two.
Have you ever been bullied at work? This may be explicit sexual or physical bullying, or subtle bullying that causes you to feel unhappy or depressed at work.
Ban Bullying At Work Day, has heightened awareness of this controversial issue, and surveys are being carried out across the country encouraging individuals and organisations to speak about bullying and understand how it can be resolved.
Most organisations will have policies in place to deal with any instances and all complaints should be taken seriously, investigated and the appropriate action taken. Also, the company should take steps to create a working environment that is free from harassment and bullying.
If you feel you have been bullied at work, or know someone who is being bullied, seek support and take action to stop it from continuing in the future.
Statistics published last month show that one in four people have been bullied at some stage during their working lives, and could be as high as one in two.
Have you ever been bullied at work? This may be explicit sexual or physical bullying, or subtle bullying that causes you to feel unhappy or depressed at work.
Ban Bullying At Work Day, has heightened awareness of this controversial issue, and surveys are being carried out across the country encouraging individuals and organisations to speak about bullying and understand how it can be resolved.
Most organisations will have policies in place to deal with any instances and all complaints should be taken seriously, investigated and the appropriate action taken. Also, the company should take steps to create a working environment that is free from harassment and bullying.
If you feel you have been bullied at work, or know someone who is being bullied, seek support and take action to stop it from continuing in the future.
Wednesday, 7 November 2007
Stress awareness
Today, 7 November 2007, is Stress Awareness Day in the UK. Stress can take many guises and is often a word that is overused when people are under pressure or anxiety. Many people are confused about what stress actually is and the differences between pressure and stress. There are many different interpretations of stress, although one definition which I like is “a reaction to continued excessive pressure or responsibility when you feel unable to cope”.
Whether you are finding it hard to cope with stress or every day pressures, follow the link below to the National Stress Awareness site to find 10 tips to reduce stress in your life.
http://www.nationalstressawarenessday.co.uk/top10.aspx
Whether you are finding it hard to cope with stress or every day pressures, follow the link below to the National Stress Awareness site to find 10 tips to reduce stress in your life.
http://www.nationalstressawarenessday.co.uk/top10.aspx
Sunday, 21 October 2007
Taking some time out
After what I felt to be a very busy and stressful week, I took some time out yesterday at a Dru Yoga workshop in Southampton. I believe it is important to take this time occasionally and reconnect with what is important in life.
It brought me back down to earth and reminded me of something that I would like to share with you now.
We can all choose how we feel about things. If you want to feel stressed about something, you probably will feel uptight and anxious about it. You will then carry this stressed feeling into other parts of your life, and to other people. But you do have the power to change your attitude. You don't have to feel stressed about that thing - you can choose to let it go, learn and move on with your life.
In NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) terms it is known as reframing. This means taking a negative experience and reframing negative experiences in a new and more positive light. Now, this is an exercise I use with my clients regularly, but this has reminded me to refocus my own thoughts, so I hope you do too.
Now, here's to a fantastic new and chilled out week!
It brought me back down to earth and reminded me of something that I would like to share with you now.
We can all choose how we feel about things. If you want to feel stressed about something, you probably will feel uptight and anxious about it. You will then carry this stressed feeling into other parts of your life, and to other people. But you do have the power to change your attitude. You don't have to feel stressed about that thing - you can choose to let it go, learn and move on with your life.
In NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) terms it is known as reframing. This means taking a negative experience and reframing negative experiences in a new and more positive light. Now, this is an exercise I use with my clients regularly, but this has reminded me to refocus my own thoughts, so I hope you do too.
Now, here's to a fantastic new and chilled out week!
Wednesday, 17 October 2007
New experiences and fun
Gosh, its been a busy month. After running a series of workshops for a local school in Leigh Park for children, which was challenging - covering motivation, achievement and goal setting - I have now started running workshops for adults!
I ran the Build your Business Confidence workshop for the South East Hants Enterprise Gateway last week. This was a really great workshop focusing on strengths, beliefs and confidence for a group of ladies wanting to set up their own business. I had some fantastic feedback and learnt a lot myself.
I am also running the Make Time for your Life workshop on 27 October with a fellow coach. This will be a great morning, and again will focus on positive action people can take to make change.
To keep in touch with all my news, hints and tips, please sign up to my newsletter at www.selfdiscoverycoaching.co.uk/newsletters
I ran the Build your Business Confidence workshop for the South East Hants Enterprise Gateway last week. This was a really great workshop focusing on strengths, beliefs and confidence for a group of ladies wanting to set up their own business. I had some fantastic feedback and learnt a lot myself.
I am also running the Make Time for your Life workshop on 27 October with a fellow coach. This will be a great morning, and again will focus on positive action people can take to make change.
To keep in touch with all my news, hints and tips, please sign up to my newsletter at www.selfdiscoverycoaching.co.uk/newsletters
Tuesday, 25 September 2007
Managing change in your life
In a previous post, I talked about being in your comfort zone and how easy it is to stay in this area. But the journey of making change is not always easy. When people make major change in their life, whether it is a voluntary or forced change, they go through a range of emotions and thoughts.
Their reactions are often as follows:
1. Denial - "it can't be true" or "I can't believe it"
2. Blaming others - "they shouldn't have done that" or "it is their fault"
3. Blaming themselves - "I should have known" or "it's my fault"
4. Accepting the new situation - "where do I go from here?"
5. Committing to change - "I'm going to do something about this"
6. Creative problem solving - "what am I going to do next?", "what are my options?"
7. Persevering and overcoming obstacles by being persistent - "I can do this!"
Sometimes people go through these stages quickly, but often they get stuck in the early stages of the model, and feel negative and sometimes depressed about a situation.
Even when making a voluntary change, such as changing your career or setting up a new business, it is still easy to find yourself in the areas of negativity. This is especially true in the early stages, such as the first few days or weeks in a new job or the first few months of running a business.
It is important to get to stage 4 as quickly as possible, and to set a plan to move on.
When you are experiencing change, you may also want to think about the reactions of other people in your life. They may also go through these stages as life will be different, and you may need their support. You could:
Consult them when you are making decisions and seek their advice
If you have a problem, ask for their help and listen to their views
Involve them in your vision and your plan for the future
Many of my clients face change when they come to see me, many want to make significant change in their life. If you would like more details, visit www.selfdiscoverycoaching.co.uk.
Their reactions are often as follows:
1. Denial - "it can't be true" or "I can't believe it"
2. Blaming others - "they shouldn't have done that" or "it is their fault"
3. Blaming themselves - "I should have known" or "it's my fault"
4. Accepting the new situation - "where do I go from here?"
5. Committing to change - "I'm going to do something about this"
6. Creative problem solving - "what am I going to do next?", "what are my options?"
7. Persevering and overcoming obstacles by being persistent - "I can do this!"
Sometimes people go through these stages quickly, but often they get stuck in the early stages of the model, and feel negative and sometimes depressed about a situation.
Even when making a voluntary change, such as changing your career or setting up a new business, it is still easy to find yourself in the areas of negativity. This is especially true in the early stages, such as the first few days or weeks in a new job or the first few months of running a business.
It is important to get to stage 4 as quickly as possible, and to set a plan to move on.
When you are experiencing change, you may also want to think about the reactions of other people in your life. They may also go through these stages as life will be different, and you may need their support. You could:
Consult them when you are making decisions and seek their advice
If you have a problem, ask for their help and listen to their views
Involve them in your vision and your plan for the future
Many of my clients face change when they come to see me, many want to make significant change in their life. If you would like more details, visit www.selfdiscoverycoaching.co.uk.
Friday, 31 August 2007
Creating confident communication
I hope that you have made some steps to move out of your comfort zone over the last few weeks. It can often be hard to make steps towards something you fear or something which is out of the ordinary. There are also situations where you might have to fake it to succeed. So what do I mean?
Sometimes when you enter a new experience, you need to pretend to be more confident than you really feel, so I want to give you some tips to enable you to create confident communication.
1. Your body language can show how you feel, so stand up tall, use open body language, make eye contact with people and most importantly smile! Think about someone who is confident that you admire, and walk, act and talk like them - if it works for them, it should work for you.
2. When you go into a new situation, such as a meeting where you don't know anyone, approach someone who looks like they are in a similar situation and make small talk. Yes, you could talk about the weather, but you could also ask open questions to the other person. People love to talk about themselves, so as long as your listening skills are good, this is a great way to get to know other people.
3. Also, prepare for the new situation. This might include doing research before a meeting or getting ready for a job interview. Be prepared to meet any challenge that might arise, and this will boost your confidence.
4. And lastly for now, don't forget to learn from things that have not worked for you and most importantly, celebrate successes. Remember how you felt when you were that cool, confident person, and take this forward to the next new and challenging experience!
Sometimes when you enter a new experience, you need to pretend to be more confident than you really feel, so I want to give you some tips to enable you to create confident communication.
1. Your body language can show how you feel, so stand up tall, use open body language, make eye contact with people and most importantly smile! Think about someone who is confident that you admire, and walk, act and talk like them - if it works for them, it should work for you.
2. When you go into a new situation, such as a meeting where you don't know anyone, approach someone who looks like they are in a similar situation and make small talk. Yes, you could talk about the weather, but you could also ask open questions to the other person. People love to talk about themselves, so as long as your listening skills are good, this is a great way to get to know other people.
3. Also, prepare for the new situation. This might include doing research before a meeting or getting ready for a job interview. Be prepared to meet any challenge that might arise, and this will boost your confidence.
4. And lastly for now, don't forget to learn from things that have not worked for you and most importantly, celebrate successes. Remember how you felt when you were that cool, confident person, and take this forward to the next new and challenging experience!
Friday, 10 August 2007
Moving beyond your comfort zone
In my August newsletter I wrote an article to help people to move out of their comfort zone. But as a life coach, it is important to note that I walk my talk and I too have gone out of my comfort zone over the last couple of weeks!
My brother in law has a pilots licence and a couple of weeks ago he asked me if I would like to go flying with him. I didn't give it a second thought and said yes. So when we got into the tiny two seater plane, I suddenly remembered how much I didn't like heights! Leaving from near Woking, we followed the seemingly vacant airspace south towards Portsmouth.
On such an amazingly beautiful day, it was worth stepping beyond my own comfort zone and doing something new. Flying over my house in Portsmouth, the Spinaker tower and the dockyard was a fantastic experience. We flew over the Solent towards the Isle of Wight and could even (just) see the white cliffs of Dover in the far distance. It felt like we had the sky to ourselves. And what would have happened if I had said no - I wouldn't have had this awesome experience and would have never contemplated doing something different.
So take a risk today and try new and unusual experiences! For other interesting articles, hints and tips, sign up to my newsletter today.
My brother in law has a pilots licence and a couple of weeks ago he asked me if I would like to go flying with him. I didn't give it a second thought and said yes. So when we got into the tiny two seater plane, I suddenly remembered how much I didn't like heights! Leaving from near Woking, we followed the seemingly vacant airspace south towards Portsmouth.
On such an amazingly beautiful day, it was worth stepping beyond my own comfort zone and doing something new. Flying over my house in Portsmouth, the Spinaker tower and the dockyard was a fantastic experience. We flew over the Solent towards the Isle of Wight and could even (just) see the white cliffs of Dover in the far distance. It felt like we had the sky to ourselves. And what would have happened if I had said no - I wouldn't have had this awesome experience and would have never contemplated doing something different.
So take a risk today and try new and unusual experiences! For other interesting articles, hints and tips, sign up to my newsletter today.
Saturday, 28 July 2007
Do you know the secret?
I would like to tell you about The Secret. It is a book, audio CD and DVD about the law of attraction. It looks at how you can create unlimited joy, health, money, and relationships - everything you could ever want. Complete with real life stories, The Secret shares the stories of how people have overcome obstacles to achieve what they thought was impossible.
It has sparked a lot interest and controversy over the last few months, and love it or hate it, the power of attraction is very real.
The law of attraction means that you attract everything into your life by what you are thinking. This is why it is important to think about what you want rather than you what you don't want. Put your energy into achieving clear and tangible goals or targets, then the world is your oyster.
Here are my top tips to attract what you want into your life:
1. Be clear about what you really want - make sure it is specific. What exactly do you want to achieve? How are you going to do it?
2. Ask the universe for what you want - keep a diary or record what you want to achieve, remembering to focus on what you really want. Or you could create a vision or mood board, be creative and use pictures or words to clearly identify what you want in your life.
3. Have faith that you will have it. To enforce this belief, visualise yourself once you have achieved it. What do you see, feel, hear?
4. Take action to manifest what you want. Focus on it daily, and take small but manageable steps towards its achievement.
It has sparked a lot interest and controversy over the last few months, and love it or hate it, the power of attraction is very real.
The law of attraction means that you attract everything into your life by what you are thinking. This is why it is important to think about what you want rather than you what you don't want. Put your energy into achieving clear and tangible goals or targets, then the world is your oyster.
Here are my top tips to attract what you want into your life:
1. Be clear about what you really want - make sure it is specific. What exactly do you want to achieve? How are you going to do it?
2. Ask the universe for what you want - keep a diary or record what you want to achieve, remembering to focus on what you really want. Or you could create a vision or mood board, be creative and use pictures or words to clearly identify what you want in your life.
3. Have faith that you will have it. To enforce this belief, visualise yourself once you have achieved it. What do you see, feel, hear?
4. Take action to manifest what you want. Focus on it daily, and take small but manageable steps towards its achievement.
Tuesday, 24 July 2007
Achieving work life balance
I met with a friend a week ago, who has a lively 3 year old and a baby on the way. I was talking to her about work life balance and a workshop I am running in September. Here is her story:
"No one tells you what to expect when you have a child and people are keen to offer their advice. But after a while, although they are well meaning, what works for them might not work for me. When you have a change in your life or are seeking work life balance, it is important to experiment and find out what works for you. Whether you decide to stay at home with your child or stay at work, it needs to fit around your life".
It is well known in NLP (neuro linguistic programming) that everyone has their own map of the world, their own reality. This means that what works for one person may not work for you. So, when you are seeking your own work life balance, you need to find out what works for you. It may be trial and error to begin, but set your priorities, stick to them and don't let other people's values get in the way. Also, if things get in the way, you may need to look at what is really important to you - do you need to iron everything or will some things just do? Or seek help if you need support to get your life back on track.
Oh and I mentioned a workshop at the beginning - the Make Time for your Life workshop is running in Hampshire on Saturday 15 September. If you would like to make more time for your life, click here for more information.
"No one tells you what to expect when you have a child and people are keen to offer their advice. But after a while, although they are well meaning, what works for them might not work for me. When you have a change in your life or are seeking work life balance, it is important to experiment and find out what works for you. Whether you decide to stay at home with your child or stay at work, it needs to fit around your life".
It is well known in NLP (neuro linguistic programming) that everyone has their own map of the world, their own reality. This means that what works for one person may not work for you. So, when you are seeking your own work life balance, you need to find out what works for you. It may be trial and error to begin, but set your priorities, stick to them and don't let other people's values get in the way. Also, if things get in the way, you may need to look at what is really important to you - do you need to iron everything or will some things just do? Or seek help if you need support to get your life back on track.
Oh and I mentioned a workshop at the beginning - the Make Time for your Life workshop is running in Hampshire on Saturday 15 September. If you would like to make more time for your life, click here for more information.
Saturday, 16 June 2007
How can you get more motivated?
Motivation means to provide incentive, or move to action. Sometimes it can be hard to be motivated, to take action and it is easy to put things off or procrastinate. But wouldn't it be good to take make some changes and take back control of your life?
Normally when people want to make change in their life, there is something that makes them question the status quo. They may be disatisfied with their life, which is an incentive to make a change. But the hard thing can be developing the vision of what the change should be and then take steps towards making a difference to their life.
So what do you really want to change in YOUR life?
1. What do you consider as the top three achievements in your life so far?
2. What else would you really like to achieve? What exactly and by when?
3. How can you take steps to achieve this goal?
4. Who can support you to make this change?
5. How will you feel when you have achieved this new achievement?
Good luck, I know you can do it. Please share your successes with us, so we can learn from each other.
Normally when people want to make change in their life, there is something that makes them question the status quo. They may be disatisfied with their life, which is an incentive to make a change. But the hard thing can be developing the vision of what the change should be and then take steps towards making a difference to their life.
So what do you really want to change in YOUR life?
1. What do you consider as the top three achievements in your life so far?
2. What else would you really like to achieve? What exactly and by when?
3. How can you take steps to achieve this goal?
4. Who can support you to make this change?
5. How will you feel when you have achieved this new achievement?
Good luck, I know you can do it. Please share your successes with us, so we can learn from each other.
Monday, 28 May 2007
Are you ready for coaching?
It is a difficult decision to decide to work with a life coach. You may feel scared to make change or feel overwhelmed with the thought of taking your life beyond your comfort zone. On the other hand, it is easy to become stuck in a rut or be unfocused with regards to your life and working with a coach can help.
It can open up opportunities to do something you have never thought about before and can empower you to make amazing positive changes to your life.
So what are the benefits of working with a coach?
• You will be listened to like you've never been listened to before - without judgement, interruption or preconceived ideas.
• You will be challenged to come up with new ideas and ways of thinking.
• You will be given the time to focus on what YOU really want to do.
• You will make steps to change your life where you are supported every step of the way.
So are you ready for coaching? Answer yes or no to the following statements to find out.
1. I am committed to making an important change in my life.
2. I am ready to invest my time and money in my future.
3. I am prepared to move out of my comfort zone.
4. I want to turn my dreams into reality.
5. I would like support to motivate me to achieve my goals.
6. I want someone who will keep me on track when the going gets tough.
7. I am prepared to try something different.
8. I am able take responsibility for achieving my goals.
9. I am willing to take responsibility for my own actions.
10. I am willing to eliminate blocks that have prevented me from getting results.
If you have answered yes to the statements above, you are ready to work with a coach. Many coaches specialise in different areas, so work out where you want to make change. Whether you want a coach to help you to focus on your parenting skills, work life balance, career development, confidence or health and weight loss, there is a coach for you.
If you would like any more information, contact me today for a chat. Vist my website for more details at www.selfdiscoverycoaching.co.uk.
It can open up opportunities to do something you have never thought about before and can empower you to make amazing positive changes to your life.
So what are the benefits of working with a coach?
• You will be listened to like you've never been listened to before - without judgement, interruption or preconceived ideas.
• You will be challenged to come up with new ideas and ways of thinking.
• You will be given the time to focus on what YOU really want to do.
• You will make steps to change your life where you are supported every step of the way.
So are you ready for coaching? Answer yes or no to the following statements to find out.
1. I am committed to making an important change in my life.
2. I am ready to invest my time and money in my future.
3. I am prepared to move out of my comfort zone.
4. I want to turn my dreams into reality.
5. I would like support to motivate me to achieve my goals.
6. I want someone who will keep me on track when the going gets tough.
7. I am prepared to try something different.
8. I am able take responsibility for achieving my goals.
9. I am willing to take responsibility for my own actions.
10. I am willing to eliminate blocks that have prevented me from getting results.
If you have answered yes to the statements above, you are ready to work with a coach. Many coaches specialise in different areas, so work out where you want to make change. Whether you want a coach to help you to focus on your parenting skills, work life balance, career development, confidence or health and weight loss, there is a coach for you.
If you would like any more information, contact me today for a chat. Vist my website for more details at www.selfdiscoverycoaching.co.uk.
Sunday, 13 May 2007
Make time for yourself
I've just come back from a few days away. I find it is great every couple of months to take time off the treadmill of life, shut off from the normal day to day distractions and make some time for myself. We all try to fit so much more into our already busy lives, and taking time out can help us to refocus, as well as coming up with great new ideas.
When was the last time you totally switched off from life?
How did it feel, what did you see or do?
If you haven't taken time out recently, when do you next plan to do so?
Plan it into your diary today and take action!
When was the last time you totally switched off from life?
How did it feel, what did you see or do?
If you haven't taken time out recently, when do you next plan to do so?
Plan it into your diary today and take action!
Friday, 20 April 2007
Monday morning blues
In my last blog, I looked at completing a life audit, but at the forefront of many people's lives is their work.
How do you feel on a Monday morning? The weekend has just gone and you’ve got a whole week of work in front of you. It is the day that is known as the worse day of the week - but how can you make it more fun and have a happy Monday? Follow my top tips to beat the Monday morning blues:
1. Get a good night’s sleep on Sunday, so you wake up feeling refreshed on Monday morning.
2. Take time to have a good breakfast to give you the energy to get through the day.
3. Wear your favourite clothes to make youself feel good and boost your confidence.
4. Leave work five minutes earlier than normal so that you can take your time on your journey to work. If you can, get some fresh air to perk up your day.
5. You also may find it good to get in early, make yourself a cup of coffee before you get into the working day.
6. Make sure that your week isn't just about work - plan a night out with your friends or family. This will give you something to look forward to.
7. And if you really get to the stage when your job is not fulfilling your needs, do something about it! Decide what you want to do and take clear small steps to achieve your goal.
How do you feel on a Monday morning? The weekend has just gone and you’ve got a whole week of work in front of you. It is the day that is known as the worse day of the week - but how can you make it more fun and have a happy Monday? Follow my top tips to beat the Monday morning blues:
1. Get a good night’s sleep on Sunday, so you wake up feeling refreshed on Monday morning.
2. Take time to have a good breakfast to give you the energy to get through the day.
3. Wear your favourite clothes to make youself feel good and boost your confidence.
4. Leave work five minutes earlier than normal so that you can take your time on your journey to work. If you can, get some fresh air to perk up your day.
5. You also may find it good to get in early, make yourself a cup of coffee before you get into the working day.
6. Make sure that your week isn't just about work - plan a night out with your friends or family. This will give you something to look forward to.
7. And if you really get to the stage when your job is not fulfilling your needs, do something about it! Decide what you want to do and take clear small steps to achieve your goal.
Sunday, 15 April 2007
Life review
Although there are still 24 hours in every day, why do we find it increasingly difficult to have time to do everything we want to do? Even with new technology that should save us time, we now seem to need to do things quicker and more efficiently than ever before?
Having time to fit everything into our lives and be everything to everybody can be hard. Many of us need to carry out a full time job to allow us to live the life we desire and then need to fit in time to do the washing, clean the house, look after children or parents, and the other jobs that just seem to crop up (especially when we have been putting them off for a while!)
So, if you are in this situation, where you are struggling to meet the demands of everyone else as well as your own needs - what can you do?
Perhaps it is time for you to carry out a life review. Spend 30 minutes thinking about what you like and dislike about your life - consider the following questions to help you move along:
Do you want to carry on working the way you are?
What is it that you enjoy about your job?
If you could change your job or the way you work, what would be different?
Do you have enough time to spend with your friends and family?
Do you have enough time for your hobbies and leisure time?
How much more time would you like to create with your friends and family or for your hobbies and leisure time?
How could you create more time?
Perhaps you would find it useful to keep a diary of where your time goes? How much time do you really watch TV or spend on the computer each week?
Or do you simply not have enough time to do everything in your life? If this is your situation, consider one more thing - what could you delegate to make your life easier?
Just taking this short time out of your regular routine will help you to focus on what you really want and enable you to set some targets to help you to get there.
Having time to fit everything into our lives and be everything to everybody can be hard. Many of us need to carry out a full time job to allow us to live the life we desire and then need to fit in time to do the washing, clean the house, look after children or parents, and the other jobs that just seem to crop up (especially when we have been putting them off for a while!)
So, if you are in this situation, where you are struggling to meet the demands of everyone else as well as your own needs - what can you do?
Perhaps it is time for you to carry out a life review. Spend 30 minutes thinking about what you like and dislike about your life - consider the following questions to help you move along:
Do you want to carry on working the way you are?
What is it that you enjoy about your job?
If you could change your job or the way you work, what would be different?
Do you have enough time to spend with your friends and family?
Do you have enough time for your hobbies and leisure time?
How much more time would you like to create with your friends and family or for your hobbies and leisure time?
How could you create more time?
Perhaps you would find it useful to keep a diary of where your time goes? How much time do you really watch TV or spend on the computer each week?
Or do you simply not have enough time to do everything in your life? If this is your situation, consider one more thing - what could you delegate to make your life easier?
Just taking this short time out of your regular routine will help you to focus on what you really want and enable you to set some targets to help you to get there.
Thursday, 5 April 2007
Flexible working and work life balance
On 6 April 2007, new laws on flexible working are being introduced in the UK. Currently parents with children under six and disabled children under 18 have the right to apply for flexible working. The Work and Families Act 2006 has extended the rights to carers of adults who will be entitled to apply for flexible working.
The new rights will give an estimated 1.4 million more employees in the UK the right to request flexible working to care for an adult. The legislation has and will help those who have responsibilities for children and adults with caring needs.
But it has also raised other issues. How will it actually work in practice? One of my clients feels that she will not be supported to apply for flexible working, she says “early last year my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. At the time I had already used leave to help deal with various issues related specifically to her condition. I have every intention of trying to take advantage of the new flexible working legislation for carers. Will the company I work for agree? I don’t think so. The likelihood is that they’ll come up with some vague informal arrangement that leaves me feeling vulnerable and unlikely to do anything other than continue to take my annual leave”.
And also what about the people who are not affected by the legislation and may resent those who are able to arrive late or leave early? Another of my clients believes that "it almost feels that this latest legislation discriminates against people without children or caring responsibilities."
Some organisations have actually extended the rights to apply for flexible working to all staff. If extended across the UK, it would help all people to have the opportunity to work flexibly. In addition, it would have a positive effect on employee’s attitudes and morale and would lead to increased productivity. It would also allow employees to develop a better work/life balance, which is an increasing challenge in today’s society. But will this happen and if it did, how would it impact businesses across the UK?
The new rights will give an estimated 1.4 million more employees in the UK the right to request flexible working to care for an adult. The legislation has and will help those who have responsibilities for children and adults with caring needs.
But it has also raised other issues. How will it actually work in practice? One of my clients feels that she will not be supported to apply for flexible working, she says “early last year my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. At the time I had already used leave to help deal with various issues related specifically to her condition. I have every intention of trying to take advantage of the new flexible working legislation for carers. Will the company I work for agree? I don’t think so. The likelihood is that they’ll come up with some vague informal arrangement that leaves me feeling vulnerable and unlikely to do anything other than continue to take my annual leave”.
And also what about the people who are not affected by the legislation and may resent those who are able to arrive late or leave early? Another of my clients believes that "it almost feels that this latest legislation discriminates against people without children or caring responsibilities."
Some organisations have actually extended the rights to apply for flexible working to all staff. If extended across the UK, it would help all people to have the opportunity to work flexibly. In addition, it would have a positive effect on employee’s attitudes and morale and would lead to increased productivity. It would also allow employees to develop a better work/life balance, which is an increasing challenge in today’s society. But will this happen and if it did, how would it impact businesses across the UK?
Thursday, 29 March 2007
What drives you?
Have you ever wondered why people behave differently from each other? There are various concepts, and one of these concepts is "drivers". These are established early in childhood. They stem from the environment around you and the way you are treated by other people. Messages that were given to you when you were young can influence how you go on to think and behave as an adult.
Drivers are characteristic ways of behaving, which are usually strengths, but may become weaknesses under stress. There are five identified drivers. You may find that you identify with a couple and you may recognise some in other people!
If your style is "be perfect", it means that you will be really good at doing accurate detailed reports, but can also mean that you believe that everything you do has to be absolutely right. You may not be satisfied with anything that you do, because, in your eyes, it will never be good enough. Delegation may be difficult because it is hard to trust others to do it right or other people may find it difficult to accept your standards.
If "hurry up" is your preferred style, you will get a great deal done in a short period of time, however, you may find yourself overloaded and take on too much. You will always be in a hurry, often late for meetings, and always leaving things until the last moment before you do them. You may find that you end up with too many appointments in one day and may appear impatient to others.
If you have the "try hard" style, you will love new projects and new things to do, and work well under pressure. You are likely to have the belief that your personal value comes from the amount of effort you put into things. It is possible that you become more committed to trying rather than succeeding. Others can become frustrated that you turn small jobs into large ones to increase the amount of effort you can put in.
If you have the "be strong" style, you are great in a crisis, but can come across aloof. You believe that your own value comes from not revealing your feelings, by being the one who takes it all on your own shoulders rather than asking for help. In turn, other people can assume you are unemotional and don’t need positive strokes.
If you have the "please others" style, you will be a great team member, and like to please other people. You will believe that you must always do what others ask of you in order to be valuable. You feel guilty about saying ‘no’, even when the request is unreasonable. You may find that you accept work or invitations from others instead of working on your own priorities. In turn, other people can become frustrated by your attempts to please them and interpret your actions as being insincere.
I hope you have identified which of the drivers ring true with you. It is useful to recognise these in yourself and others, as it helps you to work to your strengths rather than be driven by then. Self awareness helps you to identify how you can change the way you think and behave to be more effective. So, you could choose to change your behaviours in one of the following ways.
If your style is "be perfect", believe that you’re good enough as you are.
If "hurry up" is your thing, take your time.
If you "try too hard", just do it for a change!
If you feel that you need to "be strong", take the opportunity to be open and express your needs from time to time.
For those of you who "please others", please yourself for a change!
Drivers are characteristic ways of behaving, which are usually strengths, but may become weaknesses under stress. There are five identified drivers. You may find that you identify with a couple and you may recognise some in other people!
If your style is "be perfect", it means that you will be really good at doing accurate detailed reports, but can also mean that you believe that everything you do has to be absolutely right. You may not be satisfied with anything that you do, because, in your eyes, it will never be good enough. Delegation may be difficult because it is hard to trust others to do it right or other people may find it difficult to accept your standards.
If "hurry up" is your preferred style, you will get a great deal done in a short period of time, however, you may find yourself overloaded and take on too much. You will always be in a hurry, often late for meetings, and always leaving things until the last moment before you do them. You may find that you end up with too many appointments in one day and may appear impatient to others.
If you have the "try hard" style, you will love new projects and new things to do, and work well under pressure. You are likely to have the belief that your personal value comes from the amount of effort you put into things. It is possible that you become more committed to trying rather than succeeding. Others can become frustrated that you turn small jobs into large ones to increase the amount of effort you can put in.
If you have the "be strong" style, you are great in a crisis, but can come across aloof. You believe that your own value comes from not revealing your feelings, by being the one who takes it all on your own shoulders rather than asking for help. In turn, other people can assume you are unemotional and don’t need positive strokes.
If you have the "please others" style, you will be a great team member, and like to please other people. You will believe that you must always do what others ask of you in order to be valuable. You feel guilty about saying ‘no’, even when the request is unreasonable. You may find that you accept work or invitations from others instead of working on your own priorities. In turn, other people can become frustrated by your attempts to please them and interpret your actions as being insincere.
I hope you have identified which of the drivers ring true with you. It is useful to recognise these in yourself and others, as it helps you to work to your strengths rather than be driven by then. Self awareness helps you to identify how you can change the way you think and behave to be more effective. So, you could choose to change your behaviours in one of the following ways.
If your style is "be perfect", believe that you’re good enough as you are.
If "hurry up" is your thing, take your time.
If you "try too hard", just do it for a change!
If you feel that you need to "be strong", take the opportunity to be open and express your needs from time to time.
For those of you who "please others", please yourself for a change!
Sunday, 4 March 2007
What do you want to be, do or have?
When you set goals for yourself, they tend to be functional and look at what you want to achieve in the short and medium term. But what do you really want to achieve in your life? Wow, heavy stuff I hear you say! Well it can be hard to really focus on what you want in your longer term future, but I challenge you to do the following exercise.
Take yourself forward to your 80th birthday or a time in the future that is right for you. Shut your eyes and visualise and imagine your incredible life, what you have achieved, the amazing things you have done, the fantastic things you have seen and the changes you have made in your life.
Write these down. What do you want to do, be or have to be able to live this amazing life?
Now consider each item your list and write against each item a description of why you want to be, do or have each item. If you can't do this, cross it off the list.
Now, what is the most important thing you want to achieve? And how will each item improve this areas of your life?
Put your goals in order. Take your top 10 goals – these are the ones you are going to work on.
Divide your goals into 4 main groups:
Take yourself forward to your 80th birthday or a time in the future that is right for you. Shut your eyes and visualise and imagine your incredible life, what you have achieved, the amazing things you have done, the fantastic things you have seen and the changes you have made in your life.
Write these down. What do you want to do, be or have to be able to live this amazing life?
Now consider each item your list and write against each item a description of why you want to be, do or have each item. If you can't do this, cross it off the list.
Now, what is the most important thing you want to achieve? And how will each item improve this areas of your life?
Put your goals in order. Take your top 10 goals – these are the ones you are going to work on.
Divide your goals into 4 main groups:
Ongoing goals needing daily input
Short-term goals to achieve within a week to one month
Medium-term goals that may take between one month and a year
Long-term goals that may take longer than a year.
For each of the goals on your list, expand your “why”. Why do you want to have this goal and what will it mean to you? Write this down.
Remember if your why is big enough, nothing will get in the way.
Saturday, 24 February 2007
Goal setting
In my last blog, I mentioned coaching and taking the next step towards your goals. So today, I thought I would share the secrets of successful goal setting.
My first tip would be forget the 'should do's', 'oughts to's', and 'must do's' and set yourself goals that you really want to achieve and be clear about why you want to achieve them. This will help you to develop goals which are motivational and with which you are totally committed.
When you have decided what you want to achieve, consider how you can phrase the goals positively. This will help you to move you towards what you want, rather than away from what you don't want and enable you to maintain focus.
I would also suggest that you set yourself time limits to help you to plan and monitor your achievement.
Make your goals realistic and achievable. If your goals seem too big they will appear impossible to achieve. So you may find it easier to break them down into manageable chunks that are more within your control.
Next, write down your new clear goals and pin them up somewhere you will see everyday. This will help you to regularly focus on your objectives.
What I would like you to do is to consider how you will feel once you have achieved your ultimate goals. What will you see? What will you hear? How will you feel? Spending time visualising yourself achieving your goals can be a great motivator and really spur you on.
You may also want to get support for your goals. Tell a partner, friend or colleague who can support you to achieve your targets and celebrate your successes.
Can I suggest one more important tip to maintain motivation? Remember to reward yourself for your achievements each step along the way, whether you buy yourself a gift, have a glass of champagne or an evening out!
My first tip would be forget the 'should do's', 'oughts to's', and 'must do's' and set yourself goals that you really want to achieve and be clear about why you want to achieve them. This will help you to develop goals which are motivational and with which you are totally committed.
When you have decided what you want to achieve, consider how you can phrase the goals positively. This will help you to move you towards what you want, rather than away from what you don't want and enable you to maintain focus.
I would also suggest that you set yourself time limits to help you to plan and monitor your achievement.
Make your goals realistic and achievable. If your goals seem too big they will appear impossible to achieve. So you may find it easier to break them down into manageable chunks that are more within your control.
Next, write down your new clear goals and pin them up somewhere you will see everyday. This will help you to regularly focus on your objectives.
What I would like you to do is to consider how you will feel once you have achieved your ultimate goals. What will you see? What will you hear? How will you feel? Spending time visualising yourself achieving your goals can be a great motivator and really spur you on.
You may also want to get support for your goals. Tell a partner, friend or colleague who can support you to achieve your targets and celebrate your successes.
Can I suggest one more important tip to maintain motivation? Remember to reward yourself for your achievements each step along the way, whether you buy yourself a gift, have a glass of champagne or an evening out!
Sunday, 21 January 2007
New Year’s resolutions?
It’s three weeks into the new year now, how are you doing with your New Year’s resolutions? It is a great time to reflect on the year that has passed and to set goals for the future. But it can be really difficult to maintain the motivation and perseverance to move your life forward.
It was around this time last year that things weren’t moving in the right direction for me. I was fed up with my job, which made me tired and irritable (I’m sure my husband would agree!), and thought that there must be more to life. One day I was on the Internet and went onto Ebay. I typed in the words ‘life coach’ as I was looking for a book or something that would inspire me, and found a life coach who was offering her services through the auction site.
I bid and won four life coaching sessions with Lisa, who helped me to move forward in my life. I changed my job, re-evaluated my future and finally ended up in training to be a coach myself.
Life can be strange; I believe that if you open yourself up to new opportunities, who knows what could happen. It's not just about New Year's resolutions, but about constantly looking for the next step. Personally, I have now set up my own coaching business, Self Discovery Coaching, helping women to achieve work life balance, allowing them to balance the demands of a busy life. Have a think about the next few questions.
What does work life balance mean to you?
What is holding you back from achieving this balance?
If you could achieve this, what difference would it make to your life?
One of the quotes that really means something to me is “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”, so why not take the next step today to reach a truly happy and balanced life!
It was around this time last year that things weren’t moving in the right direction for me. I was fed up with my job, which made me tired and irritable (I’m sure my husband would agree!), and thought that there must be more to life. One day I was on the Internet and went onto Ebay. I typed in the words ‘life coach’ as I was looking for a book or something that would inspire me, and found a life coach who was offering her services through the auction site.
I bid and won four life coaching sessions with Lisa, who helped me to move forward in my life. I changed my job, re-evaluated my future and finally ended up in training to be a coach myself.
Life can be strange; I believe that if you open yourself up to new opportunities, who knows what could happen. It's not just about New Year's resolutions, but about constantly looking for the next step. Personally, I have now set up my own coaching business, Self Discovery Coaching, helping women to achieve work life balance, allowing them to balance the demands of a busy life. Have a think about the next few questions.
What does work life balance mean to you?
What is holding you back from achieving this balance?
If you could achieve this, what difference would it make to your life?
One of the quotes that really means something to me is “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”, so why not take the next step today to reach a truly happy and balanced life!
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