Creating confident communication

I hope that you have made some steps to move out of your comfort zone over the last few weeks. It can often be hard to make steps towards something you fear or something which is out of the ordinary. There are also situations where you might have to fake it to succeed. So what do I mean?

Sometimes when you enter a new experience, you need to pretend to be more confident than you really feel, so I want to give you some tips to enable you to create confident communication.

1. Your body language can show how you feel, so stand up tall, use open body language, make eye contact with people and most importantly smile! Think about someone who is confident that you admire, and walk, act and talk like them - if it works for them, it should work for you.

2. When you go into a new situation, such as a meeting where you don't know anyone, approach someone who looks like they are in a similar situation and make small talk. Yes, you could talk about the weather, but you could also ask open questions to the other person. People love to talk about themselves, so as long as your listening skills are good, this is a great way to get to know other people.

3. Also, prepare for the new situation. This might include doing research before a meeting or getting ready for a job interview. Be prepared to meet any challenge that might arise, and this will boost your confidence.

4. And lastly for now, don't forget to learn from things that have not worked for you and most importantly, celebrate successes. Remember how you felt when you were that cool, confident person, and take this forward to the next new and challenging experience!

Moving beyond your comfort zone

In my August newsletter I wrote an article to help people to move out of their comfort zone. But as a life coach, it is important to note that I walk my talk and I too have gone out of my comfort zone over the last couple of weeks!

My brother in law has a pilots licence and a couple of weeks ago he asked me if I would like to go flying with him. I didn't give it a second thought and said yes. So when we got into the tiny two seater plane, I suddenly remembered how much I didn't like heights! Leaving from near Woking, we followed the seemingly vacant airspace south towards Portsmouth.

On such an amazingly beautiful day, it was worth stepping beyond my own comfort zone and doing something new. Flying over my house in Portsmouth, the Spinaker tower and the dockyard was a fantastic experience. We flew over the Solent towards the Isle of Wight and could even (just) see the white cliffs of Dover in the far distance. It felt like we had the sky to ourselves. And what would have happened if I had said no - I wouldn't have had this awesome experience and would have never contemplated doing something different.

So take a risk today and try new and unusual experiences! For other interesting articles, hints and tips, sign up to my newsletter today.

Do you know the secret?

I would like to tell you about The Secret. It is a book, audio CD and DVD about the law of attraction. It looks at how you can create unlimited joy, health, money, and relationships - everything you could ever want. Complete with real life stories, The Secret shares the stories of how people have overcome obstacles to achieve what they thought was impossible.

It has sparked a lot interest and controversy over the last few months, and love it or hate it, the power of attraction is very real.

The law of attraction means that you attract everything into your life by what you are thinking. This is why it is important to think about what you want rather than you what you don't want. Put your energy into achieving clear and tangible goals or targets, then the world is your oyster.

Here are my top tips to attract what you want into your life:

1. Be clear about what you really want - make sure it is specific. What exactly do you want to achieve? How are you going to do it?

2. Ask the universe for what you want - keep a diary or record what you want to achieve, remembering to focus on what you really want. Or you could create a vision or mood board, be creative and use pictures or words to clearly identify what you want in your life.

3. Have faith that you will have it. To enforce this belief, visualise yourself once you have achieved it. What do you see, feel, hear?

4. Take action to manifest what you want. Focus on it daily, and take small but manageable steps towards its achievement.

Achieving work life balance

I met with a friend a week ago, who has a lively 3 year old and a baby on the way. I was talking to her about work life balance and a workshop I am running in September. Here is her story:

"No one tells you what to expect when you have a child and people are keen to offer their advice. But after a while, although they are well meaning, what works for them might not work for me. When you have a change in your life or are seeking work life balance, it is important to experiment and find out what works for you. Whether you decide to stay at home with your child or stay at work, it needs to fit around your life".

It is well known in NLP (neuro linguistic programming) that everyone has their own map of the world, their own reality. This means that what works for one person may not work for you. So, when you are seeking your own work life balance, you need to find out what works for you. It may be trial and error to begin, but set your priorities, stick to them and don't let other people's values get in the way. Also, if things get in the way, you may need to look at what is really important to you - do you need to iron everything or will some things just do? Or seek help if you need support to get your life back on track.

Oh and I mentioned a workshop at the beginning - the Make Time for your Life workshop is running in Hampshire on Saturday 15 September. If you would like to make more time for your life, click here for more information.

How can you get more motivated?

Motivation means to provide incentive, or move to action. Sometimes it can be hard to be motivated, to take action and it is easy to put things off or procrastinate. But wouldn't it be good to take make some changes and take back control of your life?

Normally when people want to make change in their life, there is something that makes them question the status quo. They may be disatisfied with their life, which is an incentive to make a change. But the hard thing can be developing the vision of what the change should be and then take steps towards making a difference to their life.

So what do you really want to change in YOUR life?

1. What do you consider as the top three achievements in your life so far?
2. What else would you really like to achieve? What exactly and by when?
3. How can you take steps to achieve this goal?
4. Who can support you to make this change?
5. How will you feel when you have achieved this new achievement?

Good luck, I know you can do it. Please share your successes with us, so we can learn from each other.

Are you ready for coaching?

It is a difficult decision to decide to work with a life coach. You may feel scared to make change or feel overwhelmed with the thought of taking your life beyond your comfort zone. On the other hand, it is easy to become stuck in a rut or be unfocused with regards to your life and working with a coach can help.

It can open up opportunities to do something you have never thought about before and can empower you to make amazing positive changes to your life.

So what are the benefits of working with a coach?

• You will be listened to like you've never been listened to before - without judgement, interruption or preconceived ideas.
• You will be challenged to come up with new ideas and ways of thinking.
• You will be given the time to focus on what YOU really want to do.
• You will make steps to change your life where you are supported every step of the way.

So are you ready for coaching? Answer yes or no to the following statements to find out.

1. I am committed to making an important change in my life.
2. I am ready to invest my time and money in my future.
3. I am prepared to move out of my comfort zone.
4. I want to turn my dreams into reality.
5. I would like support to motivate me to achieve my goals.
6. I want someone who will keep me on track when the going gets tough.
7. I am prepared to try something different.
8. I am able take responsibility for achieving my goals.
9. I am willing to take responsibility for my own actions.
10. I am willing to eliminate blocks that have prevented me from getting results.

If you have answered yes to the statements above, you are ready to work with a coach. Many coaches specialise in different areas, so work out where you want to make change. Whether you want a coach to help you to focus on your parenting skills, work life balance, career development, confidence or health and weight loss, there is a coach for you.

If you would like any more information, contact me today for a chat. Vist my website for more details at www.selfdiscoverycoaching.co.uk.

Make time for yourself

I've just come back from a few days away. I find it is great every couple of months to take time off the treadmill of life, shut off from the normal day to day distractions and make some time for myself. We all try to fit so much more into our already busy lives, and taking time out can help us to refocus, as well as coming up with great new ideas.

When was the last time you totally switched off from life?
How did it feel, what did you see or do?
If you haven't taken time out recently, when do you next plan to do so?

Plan it into your diary today and take action!