Self Discovery

New blogsite for you

2008-09-02T13:06:00.001Z

Check out my brand new blogsite - Your Career Health Check.

Learn how to live the life you want to live and work the way you want to work. Go to http://www.careerhealthcheck.blogspot.com for more information.

How to motivate yourself

2008-08-02T14:22:00.003Z

In my last post, I considered how important it is to regularly take breaks, recharge your batteries and make time for you. But conversely, it can sometimes be difficult to motivate yourself. If you want to motivate yourself today, follow one of my top 5 tips:

1. Find your inspiration - surround yourself with people who inspire you or read an inspirational story. Talk to people who you respect and admire, and discover what will inspire you to move forward in your life.

2. Remain positive - if other people are getting you down, focus on the positives in your life, remember the good things, the thank-yous, the encouraging comments and thoughtful appreciation.

3. Think about what you enjoy in your life - if you are unhappy at work, consider what aspects of it you like. Remember what attracted you to the job in the first place, what you enjoy and appreciate, and how it benefits other parts of your life. If you can't think of anything, it is time to do something today!

4. Focus on what you want to achieve - set yourself a goal and put it somewhere where you are reminded of it everyday. If you know what you want to achieve, you can then take steps in the right direction.

5. Take baby steps - when you have a large goal or project to accomplish it can appear impossible to achieve, so break it down into baby steps. What do you want to achieve within the next two weeks? What steps can you take to move you closer to your target?

In which areas of your life do you want to increase your motivation?

Take a break and recharge!

2008-07-01T20:51:00.001Z

Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the here and now. Like many self employed people, my working hours can be erratic. On Sunday I was working on my business by reviewing and updating my website - www.selfdiscoverycoaching.co.uk. By 6pm (after working on and off for most of the day), although my brain wanted to carry on, my body wanted a break from sitting at the computer. So I gave up and went to the gym. When I was there, my brain had a chance to assimilate everything that had been going on in my mind and I solved a problem that I had been agonising over for weeks. I thought I didn't have time to take an hour or so out of my day, but in doing so, I achieved a goal.

The morale of this story is whenever you feel too busy to go to the gym, read a book, take time out, trust your instincts as a break is often what you need to take a new perspective and have innovative thoughts.

Top Five Interview Clangers!

2008-05-29T17:59:00.002Z

The following article has been taken from www.hrlook.com and I thought it would be of interest to all the job hunters out there!

"We've all heard the stories - the candidate who answered their mobile during an interview and said 'You don't mind if I take this do you and can I have some privacy?' Then there's the interviewee that actually said he didn't want the job for long, just until he'd raised enough money to go travelling! These are just some of the genuine blunders commonly reported by leading interviewers in major corporations in the UK.

Sarah Drew, General Manager of TheLadders.co.uk is a regular interviewer and can testify firsthand that some people just don't have a clue when it comes to going for an interview. 'Sometimes the most able candidate on paper can shoot themselves in the foot when you actually meet them. What you as the potential employer has to do, is assess how much of it is just interview nerves and how much of it is indicative of their inability to do the job!'

Drew goes on to say: 'In the current climate where no job is for life and redundancies are rife, it is more important than ever to shine in an interview and stand out from other competitive interviewees.'

According to users of TheLadders.co.uk, some of the most outrageous interview gaffes include:

1. Inappropriate clothing. Yes a boob tube has been recorded as the most unsuitable garment worn to an interview
Sarah Drew says: 'Make sure your attire is suited to the organisation you are going to, if in doubt, Keep it smart - a black suit never fails'

2. Lying. When a candidate said they spoke fluent French, they were speechless when the interviewer suggested continuing in French!

Sarah Drew says: 'while it may be OK to gloss over certain details you may not want to flag up as the high points in your career, blatantly lying could land you in hot water, as if found out, you'll lose your integrity and the job offer.

3. Slating past employers or colleagues. When a candidate said he'd hated working for his previous boss as he had no management skills, he didn't bank on his interviewer being related to him

Sarah Drew says: 'Speaking negatively about past employers/colleagues communicates bad team spirit and shows unprofessionalism. If you can't say anything good, say nothing at all.'

4. Acting desperate. After a bad interview a candidate said to his employer: 'Ok that didn't go well, but if you have any other jobs going I'm quite good at database management'

Sarah Drew says: 'Don't underestimate yourself, have confidence in your ability and be positive, if you think you can do the job they will have faith that you can too. If you want to analyse how it went, call a friend afterwards.'

5. Being unprepared. On getting to his interview a candidate promptly introduced himself to the Marketing Director only to find he had walked in to the company next door to one he was interviewing for. On being asked what he could bring to the role and the company, an interviewee replied 'What is it that you do again?'

Sarah Drew says: 'Do your research! If you go unprepared it shows a lack of effort on your part and reeks of disinterest, not to mention aptitude.'"

What have been your biggest interview mistakes? Share them with us today!

Turn off TV week

2008-04-20T12:28:00.002Z

Tomorrow heralds the start of an international event - Turn Off TV week (http://www.tvturnoff.org).

A study in America revealed that:

On average, children spend more time in front of the television than they do at school.
40% of Americans frequently or always watch television during dinner.

How much TV do you watch?
How does this impact on your life?

What would it take for you to turn off or reduce your television watching over the next week?

If you watch 2 hours per day, just think, you have 14 extra hours in your week to do other things.

You could take up a new hobby, try a new sport, play games with your family, go out for invigorating walks, read a new book - how do these sound?

For just one week, why don't you change your habits and do something different? Let me know how you get on.

Changing weather, changing habits

2008-04-06T09:13:00.005Z

A few days ago, I was walking around in jeans and a T-shirt. It felt like spring was finally around the corner - my washing was drying on the line and the back door of my house was letting in lovely fresh air. Yet today, I wake up to snow! Now this is a rare sight in Portsmouth - where I am just a few minutes away from the water, and where it snows about one day of the year!

It is a beautiful day today - and believe me, it will last for just a day - and it has made me think about how we can change things in our lives.

We all have habits, those things we do automatically. Whether that is having a glass of wine with a meal, or making the first coffee of the day. Many people do things on autopilot when they get up in the morning and rarely think about what they are doing or why.

We all have habits, some of which are acceptable, and some which can be detrimental to our life.

What habits would you like to change?

What new habits would you like to bring into your life?

Did you know that you can change a habit in three weeks?

You might want to give something up, like a food or drink, such as chocolate, tea or alcohol, stop procrastinating, or switch off the TV in the evening for some quiet time. Or you might want to start to do something different like find time to read for 30 minutes a day, go to the gym, or schedule some play time for you. Whatever you want to do, you can change this habit.

Just start today, do something different and in three weeks, and it will become part of your life.

Take my challenge today, and let me know how you get on. Now, I am going to play in the snow!

How productive are you at work?

2008-03-25T20:31:00.003Z

According to recent research, British people only have the energy to work five hour days. The study, which was carried out by Boots, states that the average employee loses 151 minutes a day through tiredness, and in fact, many people only wake up fully 45 minutes into the day!

The research among 4,000 office workers in the UK indicates that many people fall into a lull at around 2pm after taking a 32 minute lunch break. The research shows that this slump can last an hour and 14 minutes. This means that employees are productive for just 5 hours of the working day.

So, why is this the case? The average worker survives on a diet of tea, coffee and snacks, and many people fail to take a proper lunch break away from their desk. So a simple diet and lifestyle change can help to reinvigorate workers. But increasing stress levels can make it difficult to maintain energy levels.

The are many other factors which influence productivity at work. If you are not happy at work, it can impact on your motivation and how much you enjoy your job.

So what could you do differently to enjoy your job and jump out of bed in the morning?

How would you like to be motivated all day in your job?

What three things could you do differently today to help you to be more productive at work?

Become a firewalker with Tony Robbins

2008-03-01T21:07:00.003Z

What were you doing 8 days ago? Were you walking on hot coals like me?

Last weekend I attended the amazing Unleash the Power Within event run by Anthony Robbins at the ExCel centre in London. Like many other wonderful people, I spend most of my time working with others, helping them to identify and achieve their goals and last weekend was time for me!

Along with 8,000 other people, I learnt the power of getting into a peak physical state to allow me to achieve anything I want to do, such as walking barefoot over a bed of hot coals!

By using key coaching, neuro linguistic programming and neuro-associative conditioning techniques, Tony helps people to develop unstoppable beliefs in their abilities, understand what drives them and how to develop the techniques for peak performance.

So, what stops people achieving what they want in their life? You can start by following the following techniques:

1. Know what you want to achieve - be specific.
2. Know why this is a must in your life.
3. Get yourself in a peak psychological and physical state.
4. Decide what you are going to do and take action.
5. If it doesn't work, find another way of doing it!
6. Get a coach, mentor or expert to help you to achieve your goals.

See you there next year!

Valentine's day

2008-02-16T11:15:00.002Z

Just in case you missed it, it was Valentine's day last Thursday!

According to a survey in 2002, a quarter of all long term relationships start at work. Many people spend so much time at work, so it is not surprising that love blossoms over the photocopier and relationships start. I actually met my husband when we were students working in Sainsbury's!

However, many organisations are banning people from having relationships with their colleagues, enforcing rules, or policing love in the workplace. On the most part, an office romance should not impact on work as long as the couple keep their love life separate from work and ensure that it does not cause a conflict of interest. Or if the worst happens, that a lover's tiff or breakup does not impact on their work or their colleagues.

You might be interested in looking at the following website for more tips on how to manage a relationship at work - http://www.worksmart.org.uk/rights/viewsubsection.php?sun=85.

What do you think about relationships at work?

How often do you change your job?

2008-02-04T20:06:00.000Z

In a career coaching workshop I was running last week, we were discussing the changes in the way people work. When my father was in employment, it was generally the norm to stay in the same organisation for a long time. In fact he remained working for a well known bank for 32 years before taking early retirement.

Statistics show that people now change their careers around 7 times during their lifetime. But changes happen many times in a person's life which influences their choice of career at that time. This can be an enforced changes such as redundancy or relocation of a partner's role, or can be due to a lifestyle change, such as having a family, children leaving home or divorce.

According an article in HR Look today, an increasing number of UK employees plan to stay in their jobs for a longer period of time as a result of improved workplace quality, according to the Great Place to Work Institute. This is attributed to uncertainly in economic markets, but also due to workplaces investing more time and money to create a positive working environment. The research is showing that more and more people tend to stay for three years in a company rather than just switching and going to another organisation. This is positive news, and according to the Great Place to Work Institute's 100 Best Workplaces in Europe survey, 76% of employees believe their managers show genuine interest in them as a person and not just as a worker.

This is great news, how do you feel about this?

Stress down day

2008-01-31T13:13:00.000Z

Tomorrow, 1st February 2008, it is Stress Down Day in the UK.

In conjuction with The Samaritans, the day aims to stamp out stress and asks eveyone to wear their slippers and take part in stress reducing activities.

Each of us cope with stress in different ways. Ask yourself the following questions:

On a scale of 1-10, how much stress do you have in your life at the moment?

How do you cope with stress?

What three things could you do differently to cope with stress better?

If you would like some hints and tips to manage stress in your life, visit the site for more information. Go to http://www.stressdownday.org/.

Miserable Monday - the bleakest day of the year

2008-01-21T21:34:00.000Z

On the radio this morning, it was announced that today is the bleakest day of the year. It is the day when many of us have run out of money after Christmas and are facing our credit card bills, the weather is terrible and we've broken our New Year's resolutions! How was today for you? What did you do to counteract this tale of doom and gloom?

Here is my advice to you:

1. Take time to be grateful for all the good things in your life.

2. Don't just make New Year's resolutions every year, but set yourself realistic and achievable goals to make long lasting change in your life.

3. Plan things that you are going to enjoy in your life, whether it is going out for an evening with friends or planning your dream holiday.

4. If you are feeling low, get some fresh air and exercise - take a walk around the block.

5. And if you are not happy with something in your life, what is stopping you from making a change?

Oh and ignore the media hype and just believe that you are going to have a fantastic day!

How long is your commute?

2008-01-18T12:43:00.000Z

According to recent research by Peninsula, which was published by HR Look www.hrlook.com on Thursday, it now takes the average UK employee 1 hour and 5 minutes to commute to work, which is double the time that it took in 2003 (35 minutes).

The study has shown that the following reasons affect the increase in journey times:

Public transport late or cancelled
Road congestion
Accident creating severe delays
Public transport breaking down en-route
Public transport too full to stop and pick up passengers

How long does it take for you to travel to work?

How does this impact on you?

How much of a consideration is commuting time if you are seeking a new job?

Please share your experiences - I look forward to hearing from you.

Oh and if you are seeking career change, subscribe to the free Self Discovery newsletter today at www.selfdiscoverycoaching.co.uk and you receive a career satisfaction quiz and career planning report

Rediscover your career in 2008

2008-01-04T14:10:00.000Z

In 2007, various studies were undertaken by organisations in the UK to measure employee satisfaction.

In a recent "Happiness at work" survey undertaken by Badenoch and Clark, it revealed that one in four office workers were unhappy with their job. It cited that the most disenchanted workers are men working in IT and telecoms, and more men said they were unhappy at work than women.

As stated by Buckminster Fuller, "the moment you know what you really want to do, it's really a different kind of life".

"No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change" - Barbara De Angelis

Think about this, what is important about your job?

Does it give you a feeling of happiness or satisfaction?

Does it give meaning to your life?

Or is it just something you do to pay the bills?

The concept of a job used to focus on the importance of a good salary, security, pension and benefits. But for many people, a greater importance is placed on feeling satisfied. This includes job satisfaction, career enhancement and being fulfilled at work.

There is no longer the concept of a job or career for life. More people want freedom and work life balance and there has been a greater shift in expectations and desire.

It is not always easy to plan your career, but your future success depends on how well you plan and the decisions you take.

Do you want to rediscover your career in 2008?

Sign up to the Self Discovery newsletter to receive the free career planning mini e-book to help you to plan your career in 2008. You will also receive monthly tips to help you to rediscover your career. Go to www.selfdiscoverycoaching.co.uk for more information.

How can you achieve your goals in 2008?

2007-12-30T17:30:00.000Z

In my last post, I asked you to review your achievements in 2007, and start to plan what you want to achieve in 2008.

However, we often set out with good intentions at the start of the year, but it is easy to lose focus and break our resolutions within the first couple of days.

So, how can you actually achieve these plans? One way of doing this is by goal setting. This allows you to set out on paper exactly what you want to achieve and by when. Follow my top 10 tips to setting and achieving goals.

1. When you set goals, make sure they are things you actually want to achieve. You should forget the 'should do's', 'oughts to's', and 'must do's' and set yourself targets that you really want.

2. Phrase your goals positively, focusing on what you want rather than what you don't want.

3. Be specific and precise about what you actually want to achieve and how you are going to do it.

4. Start to plan your achievement, including mini-reviews. Set yourself time limits for achieving your target - why don't you make a note in your diary to check your progress.

5. Make sure your goal is realistic. If your goal seems too big, it will appear impossible to accomplish. You might find it easier to break it down into manageable chunks that are more within your control.

6. Write down your goals and pin them up somewhere you will see everyday - this will help you to regularly focus on your objectives.

7. Consider what it will be like once you have achieved your goals. What will you see and hear? How will you feel? It can be a great motivator to visualise how things will be different when you have achieved your goals.

8. Think about any difficulties or obstacles you might face and how you can overcome these.

9. Believe in yourself - you can do it!

10. Think about who can support you. Tell a partner, friend or colleague who can encourage you to achieve your targets and celebrate your successes.

And don't forget to reward yourself for your achievements along the way and when you have accomplished your dreams!

If you would like regular inspiration and support to achieve your goals, sign up to the free Self Discovery newsletter. Go to http://www.selfdiscoverycoaching.co.uk/, and you will receive a free Career Planning mini e-book.

What have you achieved in 2008?

2007-12-27T13:27:00.000Z

At this time of year, many people take a break and have the time to reflect on their lives and plan for the future.

Before you make your plans for 2008, take a few moments to think about what you have achieved in 2007.

What plans did you have for 2007?

What did you actually achieve?

What did you plan to do, but not achieve?

Is this still relevant?

This should allow you to focus on your achievements and start to generate some ideas for your plans in 2008.

So, if you were going to repeat this exercise in a year's time, what would you have liked to achieve?

Go on, brainstorm some ideas, and I will help you to focus on your goals for 2008 in a few days!

Bullying at work

2007-12-10T21:55:00.000Z

In my last blog I talked about combating stress at work as it was national stress day in the UK. On the same day, it was also national Ban Bullying at Work Day.

Statistics published last month show that one in four people have been bullied at some stage during their working lives, and could be as high as one in two.

Have you ever been bullied at work? This may be explicit sexual or physical bullying, or subtle bullying that causes you to feel unhappy or depressed at work.

Ban Bullying At Work Day, has heightened awareness of this controversial issue, and surveys are being carried out across the country encouraging individuals and organisations to speak about bullying and understand how it can be resolved.

Most organisations will have policies in place to deal with any instances and all complaints should be taken seriously, investigated and the appropriate action taken. Also, the company should take steps to create a working environment that is free from harassment and bullying.

If you feel you have been bullied at work, or know someone who is being bullied, seek support and take action to stop it from continuing in the future.

Stress awareness

2007-11-07T18:48:00.000Z

Today, 7 November 2007, is Stress Awareness Day in the UK. Stress can take many guises and is often a word that is overused when people are under pressure or anxiety. Many people are confused about what stress actually is and the differences between pressure and stress. There are many different interpretations of stress, although one definition which I like is “a reaction to continued excessive pressure or responsibility when you feel unable to cope”.

Whether you are finding it hard to cope with stress or every day pressures, follow the link below to the National Stress Awareness site to find 10 tips to reduce stress in your life.

http://www.nationalstressawarenessday.co.uk/top10.aspx

Taking some time out

2007-10-21T07:40:00.000Z

After what I felt to be a very busy and stressful week, I took some time out yesterday at a Dru Yoga workshop in Southampton. I believe it is important to take this time occasionally and reconnect with what is important in life.

It brought me back down to earth and reminded me of something that I would like to share with you now.

We can all choose how we feel about things. If you want to feel stressed about something, you probably will feel uptight and anxious about it. You will then carry this stressed feeling into other parts of your life, and to other people. But you do have the power to change your attitude. You don't have to feel stressed about that thing - you can choose to let it go, learn and move on with your life.

In NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) terms it is known as reframing. This means taking a negative experience and reframing negative experiences in a new and more positive light. Now, this is an exercise I use with my clients regularly, but this has reminded me to refocus my own thoughts, so I hope you do too.

Now, here's to a fantastic new and chilled out week!

New experiences and fun

2007-10-17T18:57:00.000Z

Gosh, its been a busy month. After running a series of workshops for a local school in Leigh Park for children, which was challenging - covering motivation, achievement and goal setting - I have now started running workshops for adults!

I ran the Build your Business Confidence workshop for the South East Hants Enterprise Gateway last week. This was a really great workshop focusing on strengths, beliefs and confidence for a group of ladies wanting to set up their own business. I had some fantastic feedback and learnt a lot myself.

I am also running the Make Time for your Life workshop on 27 October with a fellow coach. This will be a great morning, and again will focus on positive action people can take to make change.

To keep in touch with all my news, hints and tips, please sign up to my newsletter at www.selfdiscoverycoaching.co.uk/newsletters

Managing change in your life

2007-09-25T12:38:00.000Z

In a previous post, I talked about being in your comfort zone and how easy it is to stay in this area. But the journey of making change is not always easy. When people make major change in their life, whether it is a voluntary or forced change, they go through a range of emotions and thoughts.

Their reactions are often as follows:

1. Denial - "it can't be true" or "I can't believe it"
2. Blaming others - "they shouldn't have done that" or "it is their fault"
3. Blaming themselves - "I should have known" or "it's my fault"
4. Accepting the new situation - "where do I go from here?"
5. Committing to change - "I'm going to do something about this"
6. Creative problem solving - "what am I going to do next?", "what are my options?"
7. Persevering and overcoming obstacles by being persistent - "I can do this!"

Sometimes people go through these stages quickly, but often they get stuck in the early stages of the model, and feel negative and sometimes depressed about a situation.

Even when making a voluntary change, such as changing your career or setting up a new business, it is still easy to find yourself in the areas of negativity. This is especially true in the early stages, such as the first few days or weeks in a new job or the first few months of running a business.

It is important to get to stage 4 as quickly as possible, and to set a plan to move on.

When you are experiencing change, you may also want to think about the reactions of other people in your life. They may also go through these stages as life will be different, and you may need their support. You could:
Consult them when you are making decisions and seek their advice
If you have a problem, ask for their help and listen to their views
Involve them in your vision and your plan for the future

Many of my clients face change when they come to see me, many want to make significant change in their life. If you would like more details, visit www.selfdiscoverycoaching.co.uk.

Creating confident communication

2007-08-31T16:40:00.000Z

I hope that you have made some steps to move out of your comfort zone over the last few weeks. It can often be hard to make steps towards something you fear or something which is out of the ordinary. There are also situations where you might have to fake it to succeed. So what do I mean?

Sometimes when you enter a new experience, you need to pretend to be more confident than you really feel, so I want to give you some tips to enable you to create confident communication.

1. Your body language can show how you feel, so stand up tall, use open body language, make eye contact with people and most importantly smile! Think about someone who is confident that you admire, and walk, act and talk like them - if it works for them, it should work for you.

2. When you go into a new situation, such as a meeting where you don't know anyone, approach someone who looks like they are in a similar situation and make small talk. Yes, you could talk about the weather, but you could also ask open questions to the other person. People love to talk about themselves, so as long as your listening skills are good, this is a great way to get to know other people.

3. Also, prepare for the new situation. This might include doing research before a meeting or getting ready for a job interview. Be prepared to meet any challenge that might arise, and this will boost your confidence.

4. And lastly for now, don't forget to learn from things that have not worked for you and most importantly, celebrate successes. Remember how you felt when you were that cool, confident person, and take this forward to the next new and challenging experience!

Moving beyond your comfort zone

2007-08-10T19:55:00.000Z

In my August newsletter I wrote an article to help people to move out of their comfort zone. But as a life coach, it is important to note that I walk my talk and I too have gone out of my comfort zone over the last couple of weeks!

My brother in law has a pilots licence and a couple of weeks ago he asked me if I would like to go flying with him. I didn't give it a second thought and said yes. So when we got into the tiny two seater plane, I suddenly remembered how much I didn't like heights! Leaving from near Woking, we followed the seemingly vacant airspace south towards Portsmouth.

On such an amazingly beautiful day, it was worth stepping beyond my own comfort zone and doing something new. Flying over my house in Portsmouth, the Spinaker tower and the dockyard was a fantastic experience. We flew over the Solent towards the Isle of Wight and could even (just) see the white cliffs of Dover in the far distance. It felt like we had the sky to ourselves. And what would have happened if I had said no - I wouldn't have had this awesome experience and would have never contemplated doing something different.

So take a risk today and try new and unusual experiences! For other interesting articles, hints and tips, sign up to my newsletter today.

Do you know the secret?

2007-07-28T13:27:00.000Z

I would like to tell you about The Secret. It is a book, audio CD and DVD about the law of attraction. It looks at how you can create unlimited joy, health, money, and relationships - everything you could ever want. Complete with real life stories, The Secret shares the stories of how people have overcome obstacles to achieve what they thought was impossible.

It has sparked a lot interest and controversy over the last few months, and love it or hate it, the power of attraction is very real.

The law of attraction means that you attract everything into your life by what you are thinking. This is why it is important to think about what you want rather than you what you don't want. Put your energy into achieving clear and tangible goals or targets, then the world is your oyster.

Here are my top tips to attract what you want into your life:

1. Be clear about what you really want - make sure it is specific. What exactly do you want to achieve? How are you going to do it?

2. Ask the universe for what you want - keep a diary or record what you want to achieve, remembering to focus on what you really want. Or you could create a vision or mood board, be creative and use pictures or words to clearly identify what you want in your life.

3. Have faith that you will have it. To enforce this belief, visualise yourself once you have achieved it. What do you see, feel, hear?

4. Take action to manifest what you want. Focus on it daily, and take small but manageable steps towards its achievement.

Achieving work life balance

2007-07-24T20:12:00.000Z

I met with a friend a week ago, who has a lively 3 year old and a baby on the way. I was talking to her about work life balance and a workshop I am running in September. Here is her story:

"No one tells you what to expect when you have a child and people are keen to offer their advice. But after a while, although they are well meaning, what works for them might not work for me. When you have a change in your life or are seeking work life balance, it is important to experiment and find out what works for you. Whether you decide to stay at home with your child or stay at work, it needs to fit around your life".

It is well known in NLP (neuro linguistic programming) that everyone has their own map of the world, their own reality. This means that what works for one person may not work for you. So, when you are seeking your own work life balance, you need to find out what works for you. It may be trial and error to begin, but set your priorities, stick to them and don't let other people's values get in the way. Also, if things get in the way, you may need to look at what is really important to you - do you need to iron everything or will some things just do? Or seek help if you need support to get your life back on track.

Oh and I mentioned a workshop at the beginning - the Make Time for your Life workshop is running in Hampshire on Saturday 15 September. If you would like to make more time for your life, click here for more information.

How can you get more motivated?

2007-06-16T12:57:00.000Z

Motivation means to provide incentive, or move to action. Sometimes it can be hard to be motivated, to take action and it is easy to put things off or procrastinate. But wouldn't it be good to take make some changes and take back control of your life?

Normally when people want to make change in their life, there is something that makes them question the status quo. They may be disatisfied with their life, which is an incentive to make a change. But the hard thing can be developing the vision of what the change should be and then take steps towards making a difference to their life.

So what do you really want to change in YOUR life?

1. What do you consider as the top three achievements in your life so far?
2. What else would you really like to achieve? What exactly and by when?
3. How can you take steps to achieve this goal?
4. Who can support you to make this change?
5. How will you feel when you have achieved this new achievement?

Good luck, I know you can do it. Please share your successes with us, so we can learn from each other.

Are you ready for coaching?

2007-05-28T14:43:00.000Z

It is a difficult decision to decide to work with a life coach. You may feel scared to make change or feel overwhelmed with the thought of taking your life beyond your comfort zone. On the other hand, it is easy to become stuck in a rut or be unfocused with regards to your life and working with a coach can help.

It can open up opportunities to do something you have never thought about before and can empower you to make amazing positive changes to your life.

So what are the benefits of working with a coach?

• You will be listened to like you've never been listened to before - without judgement, interruption or preconceived ideas.
• You will be challenged to come up with new ideas and ways of thinking.
• You will be given the time to focus on what YOU really want to do.
• You will make steps to change your life where you are supported every step of the way.

So are you ready for coaching? Answer yes or no to the following statements to find out.

1. I am committed to making an important change in my life.
2. I am ready to invest my time and money in my future.
3. I am prepared to move out of my comfort zone.
4. I want to turn my dreams into reality.
5. I would like support to motivate me to achieve my goals.
6. I want someone who will keep me on track when the going gets tough.
7. I am prepared to try something different.
8. I am able take responsibility for achieving my goals.
9. I am willing to take responsibility for my own actions.
10. I am willing to eliminate blocks that have prevented me from getting results.

If you have answered yes to the statements above, you are ready to work with a coach. Many coaches specialise in different areas, so work out where you want to make change. Whether you want a coach to help you to focus on your parenting skills, work life balance, career development, confidence or health and weight loss, there is a coach for you.

If you would like any more information, contact me today for a chat. Vist my website for more details at www.selfdiscoverycoaching.co.uk.

Make time for yourself

2007-05-13T18:21:00.000Z

I've just come back from a few days away. I find it is great every couple of months to take time off the treadmill of life, shut off from the normal day to day distractions and make some time for myself. We all try to fit so much more into our already busy lives, and taking time out can help us to refocus, as well as coming up with great new ideas.

When was the last time you totally switched off from life?
How did it feel, what did you see or do?
If you haven't taken time out recently, when do you next plan to do so?

Plan it into your diary today and take action!

Monday morning blues

2007-04-20T20:12:00.000Z

In my last blog, I looked at completing a life audit, but at the forefront of many people's lives is their work.

How do you feel on a Monday morning? The weekend has just gone and you’ve got a whole week of work in front of you. It is the day that is known as the worse day of the week - but how can you make it more fun and have a happy Monday? Follow my top tips to beat the Monday morning blues:

1. Get a good night’s sleep on Sunday, so you wake up feeling refreshed on Monday morning.

2. Take time to have a good breakfast to give you the energy to get through the day.

3. Wear your favourite clothes to make youself feel good and boost your confidence.

4. Leave work five minutes earlier than normal so that you can take your time on your journey to work. If you can, get some fresh air to perk up your day.

5. You also may find it good to get in early, make yourself a cup of coffee before you get into the working day.

6. Make sure that your week isn't just about work - plan a night out with your friends or family. This will give you something to look forward to.

7. And if you really get to the stage when your job is not fulfilling your needs, do something about it! Decide what you want to do and take clear small steps to achieve your goal.

Life review

2007-04-15T11:35:00.000Z

Although there are still 24 hours in every day, why do we find it increasingly difficult to have time to do everything we want to do? Even with new technology that should save us time, we now seem to need to do things quicker and more efficiently than ever before?

Having time to fit everything into our lives and be everything to everybody can be hard. Many of us need to carry out a full time job to allow us to live the life we desire and then need to fit in time to do the washing, clean the house, look after children or parents, and the other jobs that just seem to crop up (especially when we have been putting them off for a while!)

So, if you are in this situation, where you are struggling to meet the demands of everyone else as well as your own needs - what can you do?

Perhaps it is time for you to carry out a life review. Spend 30 minutes thinking about what you like and dislike about your life - consider the following questions to help you move along:

Do you want to carry on working the way you are?
What is it that you enjoy about your job?
If you could change your job or the way you work, what would be different?
Do you have enough time to spend with your friends and family?
Do you have enough time for your hobbies and leisure time?
How much more time would you like to create with your friends and family or for your hobbies and leisure time?
How could you create more time?

Perhaps you would find it useful to keep a diary of where your time goes? How much time do you really watch TV or spend on the computer each week?

Or do you simply not have enough time to do everything in your life? If this is your situation, consider one more thing - what could you delegate to make your life easier?

Just taking this short time out of your regular routine will help you to focus on what you really want and enable you to set some targets to help you to get there.

Flexible working and work life balance

2007-04-05T18:52:00.000Z

On 6 April 2007, new laws on flexible working are being introduced in the UK. Currently parents with children under six and disabled children under 18 have the right to apply for flexible working. The Work and Families Act 2006 has extended the rights to carers of adults who will be entitled to apply for flexible working.

The new rights will give an estimated 1.4 million more employees in the UK the right to request flexible working to care for an adult. The legislation has and will help those who have responsibilities for children and adults with caring needs.

But it has also raised other issues. How will it actually work in practice? One of my clients feels that she will not be supported to apply for flexible working, she says “early last year my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. At the time I had already used leave to help deal with various issues related specifically to her condition. I have every intention of trying to take advantage of the new flexible working legislation for carers. Will the company I work for agree? I don’t think so. The likelihood is that they’ll come up with some vague informal arrangement that leaves me feeling vulnerable and unlikely to do anything other than continue to take my annual leave”.

And also what about the people who are not affected by the legislation and may resent those who are able to arrive late or leave early? Another of my clients believes that "it almost feels that this latest legislation discriminates against people without children or caring responsibilities."

Some organisations have actually extended the rights to apply for flexible working to all staff. If extended across the UK, it would help all people to have the opportunity to work flexibly. In addition, it would have a positive effect on employee’s attitudes and morale and would lead to increased productivity. It would also allow employees to develop a better work/life balance, which is an increasing challenge in today’s society. But will this happen and if it did, how would it impact businesses across the UK?

What drives you?

2007-03-29T18:14:00.000Z

Have you ever wondered why people behave differently from each other? There are various concepts, and one of these concepts is "drivers". These are established early in childhood. They stem from the environment around you and the way you are treated by other people. Messages that were given to you when you were young can influence how you go on to think and behave as an adult.

Drivers are characteristic ways of behaving, which are usually strengths, but may become weaknesses under stress. There are five identified drivers. You may find that you identify with a couple and you may recognise some in other people!

If your style is "be perfect", it means that you will be really good at doing accurate detailed reports, but can also mean that you believe that everything you do has to be absolutely right. You may not be satisfied with anything that you do, because, in your eyes, it will never be good enough. Delegation may be difficult because it is hard to trust others to do it right or other people may find it difficult to accept your standards.

If "hurry up" is your preferred style, you will get a great deal done in a short period of time, however, you may find yourself overloaded and take on too much. You will always be in a hurry, often late for meetings, and always leaving things until the last moment before you do them. You may find that you end up with too many appointments in one day and may appear impatient to others.

If you have the "try hard" style, you will love new projects and new things to do, and work well under pressure. You are likely to have the belief that your personal value comes from the amount of effort you put into things. It is possible that you become more committed to trying rather than succeeding. Others can become frustrated that you turn small jobs into large ones to increase the amount of effort you can put in.

If you have the "be strong" style, you are great in a crisis, but can come across aloof. You believe that your own value comes from not revealing your feelings, by being the one who takes it all on your own shoulders rather than asking for help. In turn, other people can assume you are unemotional and don’t need positive strokes.

If you have the "please others" style, you will be a great team member, and like to please other people. You will believe that you must always do what others ask of you in order to be valuable. You feel guilty about saying ‘no’, even when the request is unreasonable. You may find that you accept work or invitations from others instead of working on your own priorities. In turn, other people can become frustrated by your attempts to please them and interpret your actions as being insincere.

I hope you have identified which of the drivers ring true with you. It is useful to recognise these in yourself and others, as it helps you to work to your strengths rather than be driven by then. Self awareness helps you to identify how you can change the way you think and behave to be more effective. So, you could choose to change your behaviours in one of the following ways.

If your style is "be perfect", believe that you’re good enough as you are.

If "hurry up" is your thing, take your time.

If you "try too hard", just do it for a change!

If you feel that you need to "be strong", take the opportunity to be open and express your needs from time to time.

For those of you who "please others", please yourself for a change!

What do you want to be, do or have?

2007-03-04T11:51:00.000Z

When you set goals for yourself, they tend to be functional and look at what you want to achieve in the short and medium term. But what do you really want to achieve in your life? Wow, heavy stuff I hear you say! Well it can be hard to really focus on what you want in your longer term future, but I challenge you to do the following exercise.

Take yourself forward to your 80th birthday or a time in the future that is right for you. Shut your eyes and visualise and imagine your incredible life, what you have achieved, the amazing things you have done, the fantastic things you have seen and the changes you have made in your life.

Write these down. What do you want to do, be or have to be able to live this amazing life?

Now consider each item your list and write against each item a description of why you want to be, do or have each item. If you can't do this, cross it off the list.

Now, what is the most important thing you want to achieve? And how will each item improve this areas of your life?

Put your goals in order. Take your top 10 goals – these are the ones you are going to work on.

Divide your goals into 4 main groups:

Ongoing goals needing daily input
Short-term goals to achieve within a week to one month
Medium-term goals that may take between one month and a year
Long-term goals that may take longer than a year.

For each of the goals on your list, expand your “why”. Why do you want to have this goal and what will it mean to you? Write this down.

Remember if your why is big enough, nothing will get in the way.

Goal setting

2007-02-24T12:50:00.000Z

In my last blog, I mentioned coaching and taking the next step towards your goals. So today, I thought I would share the secrets of successful goal setting.

My first tip would be forget the 'should do's', 'oughts to's', and 'must do's' and set yourself goals that you really want to achieve and be clear about why you want to achieve them. This will help you to develop goals which are motivational and with which you are totally committed.

When you have decided what you want to achieve, consider how you can phrase the goals positively. This will help you to move you towards what you want, rather than away from what you don't want and enable you to maintain focus.

I would also suggest that you set yourself time limits to help you to plan and monitor your achievement.

Make your goals realistic and achievable. If your goals seem too big they will appear impossible to achieve. So you may find it easier to break them down into manageable chunks that are more within your control.

Next, write down your new clear goals and pin them up somewhere you will see everyday. This will help you to regularly focus on your objectives.

What I would like you to do is to consider how you will feel once you have achieved your ultimate goals. What will you see? What will you hear? How will you feel? Spending time visualising yourself achieving your goals can be a great motivator and really spur you on.

You may also want to get support for your goals. Tell a partner, friend or colleague who can support you to achieve your targets and celebrate your successes.

Can I suggest one more important tip to maintain motivation? Remember to reward yourself for your achievements each step along the way, whether you buy yourself a gift, have a glass of champagne or an evening out!

New Year’s resolutions?

2007-01-21T21:43:00.000Z

It’s three weeks into the new year now, how are you doing with your New Year’s resolutions? It is a great time to reflect on the year that has passed and to set goals for the future. But it can be really difficult to maintain the motivation and perseverance to move your life forward.

It was around this time last year that things weren’t moving in the right direction for me. I was fed up with my job, which made me tired and irritable (I’m sure my husband would agree!), and thought that there must be more to life. One day I was on the Internet and went onto Ebay. I typed in the words ‘life coach’ as I was looking for a book or something that would inspire me, and found a life coach who was offering her services through the auction site.

I bid and won four life coaching sessions with Lisa, who helped me to move forward in my life. I changed my job, re-evaluated my future and finally ended up in training to be a coach myself.

Life can be strange; I believe that if you open yourself up to new opportunities, who knows what could happen. It's not just about New Year's resolutions, but about constantly looking for the next step. Personally, I have now set up my own coaching business, Self Discovery Coaching, helping women to achieve work life balance, allowing them to balance the demands of a busy life. Have a think about the next few questions.

What does work life balance mean to you?

What is holding you back from achieving this balance?

If you could achieve this, what difference would it make to your life?

One of the quotes that really means something to me is “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”, so why not take the next step today to reach a truly happy and balanced life!