What drives you?

Have you ever wondered why people behave differently from each other? There are various concepts, and one of these concepts is "drivers". These are established early in childhood. They stem from the environment around you and the way you are treated by other people. Messages that were given to you when you were young can influence how you go on to think and behave as an adult.

Drivers are characteristic ways of behaving, which are usually strengths, but may become weaknesses under stress. There are five identified drivers. You may find that you identify with a couple and you may recognise some in other people!

If your style is "be perfect", it means that you will be really good at doing accurate detailed reports, but can also mean that you believe that everything you do has to be absolutely right. You may not be satisfied with anything that you do, because, in your eyes, it will never be good enough. Delegation may be difficult because it is hard to trust others to do it right or other people may find it difficult to accept your standards.

If "hurry up" is your preferred style, you will get a great deal done in a short period of time, however, you may find yourself overloaded and take on too much. You will always be in a hurry, often late for meetings, and always leaving things until the last moment before you do them. You may find that you end up with too many appointments in one day and may appear impatient to others.

If you have the "try hard" style, you will love new projects and new things to do, and work well under pressure. You are likely to have the belief that your personal value comes from the amount of effort you put into things. It is possible that you become more committed to trying rather than succeeding. Others can become frustrated that you turn small jobs into large ones to increase the amount of effort you can put in.

If you have the "be strong" style, you are great in a crisis, but can come across aloof. You believe that your own value comes from not revealing your feelings, by being the one who takes it all on your own shoulders rather than asking for help. In turn, other people can assume you are unemotional and don’t need positive strokes.

If you have the "please others" style, you will be a great team member, and like to please other people. You will believe that you must always do what others ask of you in order to be valuable. You feel guilty about saying ‘no’, even when the request is unreasonable. You may find that you accept work or invitations from others instead of working on your own priorities. In turn, other people can become frustrated by your attempts to please them and interpret your actions as being insincere.

I hope you have identified which of the drivers ring true with you. It is useful to recognise these in yourself and others, as it helps you to work to your strengths rather than be driven by then. Self awareness helps you to identify how you can change the way you think and behave to be more effective. So, you could choose to change your behaviours in one of the following ways.

If your style is "be perfect", believe that you’re good enough as you are.

If "hurry up" is your thing, take your time.

If you "try too hard", just do it for a change!

If you feel that you need to "be strong", take the opportunity to be open and express your needs from time to time.

For those of you who "please others", please yourself for a change!

What do you want to be, do or have?

When you set goals for yourself, they tend to be functional and look at what you want to achieve in the short and medium term. But what do you really want to achieve in your life? Wow, heavy stuff I hear you say! Well it can be hard to really focus on what you want in your longer term future, but I challenge you to do the following exercise.

Take yourself forward to your 80th birthday or a time in the future that is right for you. Shut your eyes and visualise and imagine your incredible life, what you have achieved, the amazing things you have done, the fantastic things you have seen and the changes you have made in your life.

Write these down. What do you want to do, be or have to be able to live this amazing life?

Now consider each item your list and write against each item a description of why you want to be, do or have each item. If you can't do this, cross it off the list.

Now, what is the most important thing you want to achieve? And how will each item improve this areas of your life?

Put your goals in order. Take your top 10 goals – these are the ones you are going to work on.

Divide your goals into 4 main groups:

Ongoing goals needing daily input
Short-term goals to achieve within a week to one month
Medium-term goals that may take between one month and a year
Long-term goals that may take longer than a year.

For each of the goals on your list, expand your “why”. Why do you want to have this goal and what will it mean to you? Write this down.

Remember if your why is big enough, nothing will get in the way.